Do Your Best

“At the end of the day, remind yourself that you did the best you could today, and that is good enough.”

– Lori Deschene

David found that quote and decided to save it. It is worth remembering, particularly now with all the stress that is spread across our town, our country, our world.  Just the other day, two of our daughters yelled at Julie, not because she did anything wrong, but was more the result of some pent up frustrations the girls were feeling.    To her credit, Julie did not engage with either one; she was quiet and let both situations pass. 

   If we believe the news reports and the likelihood of a lengthy home confinement, the stress is unlikely to pass any time soon.  How is each of us going to get through these weeks, or even months, without driving each other – and ourselves – crazy?  In her practice, Julie has observed a wide variety of coping mechanisms.  Some people worry, others drift into depression and inaction. There are folks who become obsessive, by over eating, drinking to excess or spending too much money on line.  We have friends who take stress on like an opponent in a boxing ring – head on.  They are the ones who who spring up, make projects for themselves, and do all hey can to keep busy and occupied.

Julie has been a grocery store repeat offender.  She has taken multiple trips for various foodstuffs that we don’t need – from Spaghetti O’s to frozen pizzas to cake icings.  Her thinking is that if the family has enough groceries, all will get better and be fine.  At this point, David won’t let her go to the grocery store without advance permission, a specific list of items to be purchased and an adult chaperone.  

Julie has also used the time to help others.  Just the other day, our grandsons were wrapping individual packages for seniors with crayoned drawings and rolls of toilet paper.   

David is back to writing more; Julie for her part is spending extra time in the kitchen.   Happy hours are both more frequent and extend a bit longer. We are both doing our best to eat healthy, walk and work out daily.  While Julie has spent a good bit of time video chatting with friends, David is instead talking to the dogs.  We are both trying to keep to normal “work-like” schedules and routines.  

Here are a few ideas to help you maintain your own sanity: 

–  Get regular and sufficient sleep  

–  Take vitamins

–  Binge watch some shows

–  Clean the garage, which for us has become a home gym of sorts

–  Help a neighbor with food or supplies 

–  Stay connected with family and friends via phone, face time or Skype.  Julie loves the House Party app that allows her to talk to several friends at once.

– Donate to those in need through online charities

– Support local businesses.  Order carryout from neighborhood restaurants, books from local bookstores

– Be aware of current developments, but don’t obsess with the news 

– Spend uninterrupted and quality time with your pets, your kids, and your partner

In other words, just do your best.

Julie and David Bulitt, a licensed clinical social worker and divorce lawyer, have been married for more than 33 years. Their new book, THE 5 CORE CONVERSATIONS FOR COUPLES, is available in paperback and e-book on line at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and all major booksellers and can also be purchased from your local independent bookstore.  Read more about Julie and David